That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This toilet bowl is my home.
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