i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
