I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did I show you my penis last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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