The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
