Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize