But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
