let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
