instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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