i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
