naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
