Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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