Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
