these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
