I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
