porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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