well most of my day revolves around power hour
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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