i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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