why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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