This girl is more easily done than said...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
