So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
