I just saw a hot homeless man
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
