you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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