In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
