You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm passing your future prison.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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