I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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