There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
