Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
