even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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