normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
