I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
