I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
