508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
