One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
