She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
