I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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