I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
