Pregnant stripper...not hot.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
