R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
