she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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