Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He shit in the fireplace
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
