why didn't you poke me back
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
