So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
