We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would ride that face into the sunset
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
