I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Houston, we have a squirter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
