if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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