You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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