Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
