I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
