Non-Jews are for practice
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
