His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
