I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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