so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
