O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
