i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
