I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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