dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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