Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
