i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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