i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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