I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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