"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
