i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
