White coat. Heels.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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