Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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