I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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