i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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