I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
