The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
