Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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